Just lost my job. Think I’ll Go Surf.

When I read the email from the brand new boss saying that she was no longer going to be using my services, I was boiling with rage.

I felt a misogynistic urge to find out where she lives, and if not do something violent to her, then at least her car. Pop, pop, pop, pop…four tires slashed. The money she’d have to spend on new tires would be just a penny compared to the amount of money I’ve just been shafted out of.

For over six years, I devoted myself to this job and received 99% positive feedback. I worked under two previous bosses, the second of which I enjoyed a great relationship with. She told me I was her favorite on the staff. Through this job, I felt a strong connection to my community and now it’s been taken from me.

How dare this new woman, a young, power-hungry, steely-eyed vixen fresh out of school who wouldn’t know good work if it bit her on her arse, how dare she just up and can me like that?

As I read her email, I feel like I am experiencing a terrible, unexpected breakup. The new boss is calculatingly cold and nasty in her wording, describing how unprofessional she deems my work.

In the Led Zeppelin song, “Dazed and Confused,” Robert Plant sings some words of wisdom: “The soul of a woman was created below.” This is exactly how I feel about this new boss that less than two weeks after taking the helm has decided to fire me.

So as I finish reading the her lengthy email to me, there is only one thing I can do: go surf.

Reacting from a place of anger never does any good. And with an early autumn chest-high, perfectly sunny day with a SW/NW combo swell filling in nicely at my local break, the best thing I can do is to go surf and clear my head.

I’d be lying if I said today is one of the best sessions. As much as I try to focus on the sunshine, the clear view of the kelp and sea grass and orange garibaldi swaying and swimming below my board, I just can not shake the hurtful words and the harsh reality of the situation.

Although the waves are fun, there are some long lulls that find me mentally paralyzed by the reality of what I have just read.

But I try to maintain a positive attitude and outlook on the situation. One door unexpectedly gets slammed in your face, better ones open up, is what I tell myself in the water.

But as with any unexpected breakup, logic and emotion operate on two entirely different systems. Although I repeatedly fill my head with positive reinforcement and mantras, my nerves feel frazzled. My surfing is affected because of it.

I can not seem to get dialed in today. On a couple of rides I look like a total kook, but that is okay. I am being challenged emotionally for the first time in quite a while. I need to take it easy on myself.

No matter how uninspiring my surf session is today, being in the water is ultimately therapeutic. No use sitting at home rereading the scathing email, nor would it be in my best interest to reply with a scathing email of my own; the best way to deal with any unexpected firing or breakup is to go down to the beach and connect with the ocean in one form or another.

Not only is surfing grounding for the nerves and psyche, but meditating on the beach, even if it’s just for 10 minutes does a lot of good, even if you don’t realize it. Although the hurtful words of the email repeat in a loop in my brain, I sit in stillness, focusing on my breath, and reaffirming over and over my power as an infinite being full of limitless joy and abundance.

Lots of people would consider this New Age gobbledygook, but even if I do not feel any better immediately, I trust in the universe that repeating these empowering phrases will manifest in better and amazing opportunities in the near future.

A few years back, when another job I worked for long term suddenly came to an end, I let go of my fear of not earning enough money buy plunking down over $500 for my first custom-shaped board (See Surf Diary 17). This action resulted in my letting go of fear and trusting the universe would acknowledge and reward me with more abundance.

Now that it seems another source of income has been taken from me, perhaps I should tell the universe that I’m not afraid of another sudden lack of income from this job I’ve just been fired from. I trust the universe will provide me with better opportunities. I need a new spring suit and lots of other surf accessories. Off to the surf shop I go. New Age speak aside, shopping is supposed to be therapeutic.

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